Tag Archives: Relationships

Turning in circles

Hi folks. Here is something I published last week in Metro. It is a concept I have discussed with almost all of my clients over the years. It is also a part of almost every presentation I give. I thought it was time to try and summarize the idea in my 400 word-limit column. Not an easy task [...]

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Secret lovers never argue over cheese

Secret lovers never argue over cheese (source: Les amants ne se dispute pas à propos du fromage. Journal Métro, November 6, 2012. Voir plus bas pour la version Française.) My wife and I have a constant battle over cheese. When she opens a package, she leaves it in the original container and then stuffs it [...]

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Love lists

We almost all have a list of ideal qualities sought in a mate. Some make lists out of fun but others take them quite seriously. Lists tend to lean heavily, albeit not exclusively, on physical traits. But you may notice that while physical traits lead us to form connections with others, it is the psychological [...]

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Let’s be friends…or not

One of the funniest lines from Seinfeld was when Jerry asks; How do you break up with a friend? You can’t say ‘let’s be friends.’ In fact, when you don’t want to be friends at all, what do you say? ‘Let’s just BE?’ The famous (or infamous) line, ‘let’s be friends,’ used in break-ups is [...]

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Losing a lover, preserving love

One of the great challenges in life is dealing with a loss or a break-up. Almost everyone has had to go through it at some point in their lives. If you want to know what depression feels like just think back to the last time you went through a separation – dry mouth, loss of [...]

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He said WHAT about me?

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to write for a while but as you know, the world was in celebration mode last week. While the French were celebrating Bastille Day on the 14th, we in Canada and the rest of the world were commemorating a much more significant day. I am referring, of course, to Saint Camillo’s day. [...]

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Infidelity’s opposing forces

A colleague once remarked that humans were not biologically made to be monogamous. Hmm…an interesting issue. I would say yes and no. I think there are two mechanisms in human nature that clash. One contributes to infidelity while the other favours monogamy. They both have to do with the survival of the species. The first, [...]

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Being in love and feeling secure

Ever since I was a kid, I heard expressions referring to insecurity such as, “He’s so insecure.” I never did quite know what it meant. It seemed to describe many people. Basically, anyone with anxiety about anything was described as insecure. Now that I am a psychologist, I use the term myself, but I do [...]

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Over and over and over again

Here is something that was published in my Metro column on September 18, 2007. It explores why some people seem to go back and forth in their relationships, breaking up for good one week, getting back together the next, and then breaking up again, this time for sure, the next, and so on. I’m sure [...]

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