Category Archives: Humour

Smooth rocks and plastic rings

SMOOTH ROCKS AND PLASTIC RINGS (SVP, voir plus bas pour la version Française) Why do we always seem to come home from vacation with a pocketful of smooth rocks or seashells we picked up at the beach or cheap plastic rings we bought at an amusement park? I don’t know about you but I have [...]

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Clicker wars

The battle lines are drawn. And by that I am not referring to the newly launched provincial election campaign nor to events in Crimea. I refer instead to a battle that is waged on a daily basis in living rooms across the world. Clicker wars (Source: La guerre des télécommandes. Journal Métro, March 11, 2014) [...]

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A guide to Christmas stress

Hey, it’s the morning of the 21st and I’m still alive! OMG! Wait, was the world supposed to end at the start of the day or the end? I don’t know! But what if there is no apocalypse? What then? This implies something even worse than the death of our planet and all life. That’s [...]

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Countdown to Armageddon

What do you mean the world will end on December 21st? I’m barely getting started. I was still paying off debt but as soon as I had finished I was planning to get to my bucket list. OK, let’s calm down and try to think rationally. Let’s see, what did I write down anyway. Hmm…sailing [...]

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I can touch my ceiling…and other great Olympic feats!

In honour of the Olympic Games, here is a hybrid version of something I wrote four years ago (Citius-Altius-Fortius), a column I published in today’s Métro, and some new material: (Voir plus bas pour la version Française abrégée). The Olympics and I go way back. I was in the 1976 games in Montreal. Well…more like [...]

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You talk too much

You talk too much! (Source: Tu parle trop! Journal Métro, June 05, 2012) (Vois plus bas pour version Française) We each have two ears and one mouth. Unfortunately there are many people who don’t use those features in appropriate proportions. You know the type. They ask you a simple straightforward question and then take another [...]


Introducing Fat-Master Z

I often wonder what I would do in life if I had to start again from scratch. I like being a psychologist but perhaps I wouldn’t mind a little change of pace. I just don’t know what would I do? One of my great passions is music. Unfortunately, I am blessed only with an appreciation of [...]


The Rudolf in all of us

Perhaps I should get a life but I really hate the sentiment behind the song Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. “Hey, let’s make fun of the funny-looking kid until he becomes useful to us.” Nevertheless, I will try to take it in the light spirit it was intended and see if a reindeer’s life can [...]

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I don’t have the right nipples

It was one of those moments I wished I had a faster brain and a quicker wit so I could have capitalized on an opportunity to say something brilliantly funny. Alas I am just a simpleton. Not too long ago, I busted a spoke on by bike’s front wheel and had to have it replaced. [...]

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People categories

Here is something I had sitting in my computer for a while. I was hoping to expand the list but finally decided to submit it. It is a short list of how I categorize people and was published today. Feel free to add you own categories in the comments. People categories SVP Voir plus bas pour [...]

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