A cowgirl gets up in the morning, decides what she is going to do and does it.
-Marie Lords, 1861
Gritty but glamorous, keeping up with the boys but always a lady, a hard worker who loves her animals as much as she would ever love a man, the Cowgirl mystique.
What makes some women feel an irrepressible need to be free, believe that their freedom is their birthright, and that their independence is worth more than all other ?
What role does a sense of freedom play in our mental health ?
Whenever I am going to have a rough day, I know it the minute I open my eyes.
It is not usually for the reason that I didn’t get to sleep well as is often the case as a mother of a young child, rather I know I am not feeling like myself because my usual gusto for the adventure of a new day is gone, and this zest is what makes me me.
The thing that affects’ my mental health negatively more than anything else is when I feel my freedom is stifled, my ability to make choices, big or small is limited.
We all have obligations, school, work, family life and can’t “just decide” to do anything we want in these capacities, but I know that for myself, feeling I can have an impact through steady persistence and determination is crucial to my sense of well-being.
So what do we do when we can’t locate a sense of freedom, whether because of limitations imposed by the outside world or the restrictions we experience in directing our lives because of our relationship with ourselves ?
A fellow named Bill O’Hanlon, an American psychotherapist who has greatly influenced my way of understanding change, developed something he calls Possibility Therapy, which is a collaborative way of helping people access their undiscovered strengths through therapy.
This solution-oriented work on yourself involves inquiries such as: what if, even though you don’t feel free or happy today, just for today, you acted as if you did ? What would you do differently ?
If You Do One Thing Different how would it change how you feel about yourself, others and the world around you ?
Almost all of us have one if not many “to do lists”.
A number of years ago I started having a “to enjoy” list.
I started cutting out articles from the paper about things I wanted to experience; local places to visit, charities that needed time or goods, recipes, craft ideas, and information on musicians or books I wanted to look up online or at a store.
When I feel overwhelmed by pressures and all the “have to do” stuff, I turn to this list I keep in something I call my “Take Flight File”, and find that just doing one of these things gives me a lift.
Cowgirls Giddy up. There is no time like the present. Talking about something doesn’t mean you are going to do it. When making changes, we often try to set small goals to start, and for the most part this makes sense, but sometimes we really do have to take life by the reins or we will not make the changes our heart desires.
A true cowgirl if ever there was one, Tina Turner a rebel with many a cause broke ground in our understanding of gender, race, and sexuality and was one of the first revered women to speak out publically about her experiences of intimate partner violence.
Blazing a trail for others to follow, practicing “Buddhist-Baptist” Tina Turner will marry her long time love Erwin Bach, 16 years her junior, after 27 years together in the summer of 2013 at age 73. The forever fabulous Ms. Turner seems to have found a companion who understands a cowgirl’s maxim in love: Better Be Good To Me.
On April 17th 2013, ANEB Qc hopes to lasso your support at their yearly GALA extravaganza; Not to be missed !
Posted on 15 Apr 2013
