Being in love and feeling secure

Ever since I was a kid, I heard expressions referring to insecurity such as, “He’s so insecure.” I never did quite know what it meant. It seemed to describe many people. Basically, anyone with anxiety about anything was described as insecure.

Now that I am a psychologist, I use the term myself, but I do so in a much more limited sense. I use it to describe people who become excessively anxious in relationships, especially when in love.

The fear of losing the love, or of being rejected or abandoned, is a central issue for many clients. It is also one of the most debilitating, affecting...

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Posted on 12 Feb 2008
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The tsunami and the raindrop

A few weeks ago, I wrote about a traffic jam where I argued that little gestures can have big impacts when cumulative effects are taken into account. This week, I wrote a column on a similar theme.I first got the idea after speaking to a fairly young client who was frustrated by the fact that so many things just weren’t right with the world. I pulled out my old “you can’t change the whole world, you can’t even change the people around you, but you can influence your small part of it” argument.
She didn’t buy it.
For what it’s worth, here it is.
P.S. When I was in high school, I had a...

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Posted on 31 Jan 2008
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Schizophrenia and the public’s perception

There were some news reports last week in the French-language media of Quebec that discussed the dangerosity of those suffering from Schizophrenia. It was specifically referring to the killing of a couple by their mentally ill son. One cannot deny that there are tragic events related to schizophrenia such as this one. However, they remain very rare and they have the effect of slanting an already unfair portrait of psychiatric patients.

One percent of the population suffers from Schizophrenia. That means 70,000 in Quebec alone. Although there is an increase in their likelihood of killing...

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Posted on 15 Jan 2008
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22

Christmas memories and the symbols that evoke them

I was struggling with what to write this week. Last year I wrote something called My Christmas Wishes and I thought I could come up with a new list. Well, nothing came.

I then thought I’d try to address the idea of managing Christmas stress, a topic that comes up every year (media outlets always call at this time of year in search of a quote from an “expert.” Truth is, we “experts” get as stressed out as anyone else.) Still nothing. I was drawing a blank and on the verge of panic with a deadline looming.

Then I took the dog for a walk. Here’s what I wrote when I came back home. It’s about...

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Posted on 17 Dec 2007
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Little gestures, big effects

World leaders are meeting once again to try to hammer out some agreement on climate change and emissions targets. Needless to say, the role of governments in achieving some workable goals is essential but the reality is that they are not the ones we can rely on alone. True change can only be achieved through attitude change in the individual.In today’s column, I tell a little story about a traffic jam and how a simple gesture of slowing down to take a look, produced a two-hour delay. The principle is a simple one; when many people do something small, the cumulative result can be big. I had...

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Posted on 03 Dec 2007
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20

Depression and self-confirming negative biases

In today’s Metro column, I tell a story of how depressed people, or those who tend to think poorly of themselves, are always finding proof for their beliefs.The idea of a negative schema (a strongly held belief, or what is often called a “core” belief) is important in the treatment of depression. In cognitive therapy of depression, the goal is to try to identify these schemas and to help the person see how they lead to a distortion of facts and events. It is these distortions that feed the negative thinking patterns in depression.This story is actually a follow-up of an earlier column...

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Posted on 21 Nov 2007
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22

Prolonging life: Attitude and cancer

In tomorrow morning’s column (October 30), I wrote about a study that made the front page of the Montreal Gazette last week. It reported on a study by James Coyne that showed that cancer survival was not affected by attitude. I had the topic in the back of my mind for a while since this particular study only confirmed what research was already pretty clear on.

The initial buzz about how attitude can prolong life was a combination of research bias and wishful thinking. Nevertheless, I was always of the opinion that days lived should be measured by the number of quality days. By this...

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Posted on 29 Oct 2007
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21

Reasonable accommodation

With yesterday’s news came the report on a recent poll about Quebecer’s attitudes about the accommodation of religious groups. I thought the timing was quite good since I had written a column on the related issue of immigration that was to appear in Metro the same day (a lucky coincidence). Unfortunately, I got bumped (it turns out to be fashion week and there were several articles on the topic). It’ll have to wait for next week (October 16) but, in case you’re interested, here is what will appear.

We’re all immigrants
Camillo Zacchia, Ph.D.
Psychologist – Douglas Institute

n the 1960’s,...

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Posted on 10 Oct 2007
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20

Depression and Burnout

The Douglas Institute Foundation recently ran a public education and fundraising campaign. One of the topics it chose was “Burnout.”It seems that everyone has a different idea about what burnout is and most people confuse it with depression (and with good reason because “Burnout” is not a well-defined term). In order to help shed some light on burnout and depression, I wrote three articles that will appear in the next edition of Mammoth, an electronic journal put out by the Stress Center of the Douglas Research Center. (All the articles are also available in French.) Much of the content...

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Posted on 30 Sep 2007
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28

Over and over and over again

Here is something that was published in my Metro column on September 18, 2007. It explores why some people seem to go back and forth in their relationships, breaking up for good one week, getting back together the next, and then breaking up again, this time for sure, the next, and so on. I’m sure you know some of them.

Most relationships end for good after the first breakup, or at least by the second. Breakups are difficult enough, but some people torture themselves by going through the process dozens of times in each relationship. In the column, I explore the role that emotions play in...

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Posted on 23 Sep 2007
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