Wisdom at the Tim Horton’s

It happens every day. Whenever we are faced with a restriction in our lives – like speed limits, border restrictions, or even the number of cans of beans you can buy when they are on sale – we complain about it. Whenever we witness someone doing something they “shouldn’t be allowed to get away with,” – like hogging all the beans – we complain about the lack of controls and clamor for more rules. The result is a more and more bureaucratic and restrictive world (which of course we complain about).

I always enjoy stories that explore events from the perspectives of different individuals. The...

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Posted on 23 Dec 2009
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Why put off until tomorrow what you can put off until the day after tomorrow

I used to think that my biggest fault was my tendency to procrastinate. All my university papers were finished at the last possible moment. They were started not much earlier. Every single time, I swore to myself I would do better next time. Eventually I simply gave in and stopped deluding myself.

I always laugh when we, whether we are students or managers, are given an assignment and complain about how little time we are given (usually a month or two). Let’s face it, no one in the room, except for the occasional freak, will begin until crunch time. I would matter very little if we were...

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Posted on 13 Dec 2009
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Sad anniversary

Today is the 20th anniversary of Marc Lépine’s rampage. Yesterday, I was in my car and heard two riveting interviews on CBC’s As It Happens. The first was with Nathalie Provost, who was shot by Lepine. The other was with Monique Lépine, Marc’s mother. I thought it might be a good time to re-post a column I had written on the 16th anniversary of the event.

I don’t get paid to write the column in Métro and often wonder why I torture myself. But although I don’t get many comments on much of the work, every once in a while I find an e-mail in my in-box that keeps me going and brings me the...

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Posted on 06 Dec 2009
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Taking back your life

There are always two blows one receives when one is the victim of a crime. The first is the direct loss of material or the sense of violation. This is what the criminal takes. But there is also a second blow, the impact on the victim’s sense of security. This is the consequence that can keep on costing.

I once used the phrase, “You are now responsible for how you act,” to a woman who was psychologically abused by her alcoholic father and neglectful mother. The woman was furious with me at first, at least until I clarified what I meant. My point was a simple one. We are not at fault for...

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Posted on 01 Dec 2009
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Cyberpsychology


Here is a link to an interview I did last week on the subject of using virtual reality devices to treat anxiety disorders. The interview was done by Pauline Boinot, who keeps a blog on cyber-health for the Public Health Research Institute of the University of Montreal. The interview questions were done in both English and French so you you can choose your preferred language. (www.hinnovic.org)

Voici un lien vers un entrevue que j’ai accordé la semaine dernière sur le sujet de l’utilité des appareils de réalité virtuelle pour traiter les troubles de l’anxiété. L’entrevue était fait...

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Posted on 22 Nov 2009
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Standards of happiness

Is there a secret to happiness? Well, I can’t say for sure but if you like to get your psychology from pithy aphorisms there are plenty of secrets out there.

One secret to happiness that recently came to my attention was the following: Lower Your Standards!

The psychologist in me says YES! I cannot think of a single principle that would most help depressed individuals. While not the only cause of unhappiness, many such individuals feel that nothing they do is good enough. If high standards are applied to themselves, they are constantly faced with a sense of failure. If they apply the...

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Posted on 10 Nov 2009
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H1N1: From frenzy to complacency to frenzy

Human beings are an odd lot. We like to have things simple and clear – (Which is the best hospital? Which is the greatest band of all time?) Unfortunately, despite our desire for black and white answers, our world is hopelessly grey. The current wave of frenzy over the H1N1 virus highlights what happens when our anxiety mechanism – which is there to protect us – interacts with a threat that we cannot control with certainty.

Anxiety: a subjective experience

No two people treat the threat of H1N1 the same way. Some people treat the pandemic like the histrionic ranting of crazed doomsdayers,...

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Posted on 03 Nov 2009
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With all due respect I think you’re a jerk!

Some of the most obnoxious people I have ever met are psychologists. I’ll never forget the time years ago when I attended the annual convention of the American Psychological Association in Washington, D.C. You would not believe how many restaurant meals were returned during those few days! Apparently psychologists have little trouble asserting themselves. “I’m sorry but I asked for the dressing on the side, and the lettuce could be crisper, and my spoon has a discoloration on it, and I specified no ice for my water, and could you ask the people at the next table to speak a little more...

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Posted on 30 Oct 2009
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The Nobel Peace Prize goes to…Oops, wrong envelope

I am a fan of Barack Obama. He is a breath of fresh air after eight years of living in George Bush’s twilight zone. There are many reasons to admire him. A simple example is Obama’s openness to stem cell research. It illustrates the triumph of science and rational thought over the kind of over-zealous fundamentalism and irrational histrionics espoused by his predecessor. Nevertheless, a Nobel Peace Prize? I can sort of understand the Nobel committee’s idea of giving impetus to Obama’s peace initiatives, even if they are in the embryonic stage. It would make perfect sense except for one...

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Posted on 10 Oct 2009
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I hate you, I miss you

“When angry, count to ten before you speak”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”

In my Metro column last week, I decided to explore the effect of the passage of time on our emotions and how this impacts relationships. The two quotes above help explain why some people constantly live with on-again off-again relationships.

In all relationships, we get frustrated or angry from time to time. When this anger is intense it can lead to a break-up. However, break-ups that are the result of anger tend not to last because anger dissipates over time. And of course, since absence makes the heart grow...

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Posted on 23 Sep 2009
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