So, it looks like rioting along Ste-Catherine street is now to be expected after every playoff series win. When did that become the norm?
The first time that rioting happened in victory was following the 1986 Stanley Cup win by Montreal. It happened again in 1993. I guess this means that we can no longer call it exceptional.
I hadn’t planned on talking about riots, but in today’s Métro column I discuss social disinhibition. I give some examples of how we can act like jerks when we are anonymous and there is no mechanism to reign in our urges. A riot is a perfect example of this. I doubt if a person walking alone down the street would ever pick up a rock and throw it through a window.
I have always been struck by the discrepancy between how we treat each other in our home environments and how we do so in an outside social context. I remember how my brothers and I would insult each other as a matter of course when we were growing up. The same happened in my wife’s family. My future sister-in-law could never walk into a room without my future brother-in-law acting like a skunk had just sprayed him! (Sniff, sniff…”here comes Smelly Melly.”). Happily, now that we are adults, we all get along quite well.
Before you assume that this is a phenomenom strictly reserved to siblings growing up together, just look around you. When people are put in a context of anonymity (riots are a great example), the same thing happens. For example, many people happily give the finger to other motorists while behind the wheel of a car. This is because there is no social inhibition to limit us in a situation where we are anonymous. Yet I bet you that very few of us give each other the finger at the office (even if we may want to at times).
In our homes we are certainly not anonymous. But because we are so familiar with family members, we are no longer concerned with what they think of us. This has the same effect as anonymity. As a result, we over-react to minor irritants and treat each other with considerably less civility than we would employ in other contexts.
I wrote the following column with memories of our family kitchen and three teenaged boys in mind. Someone was invariably putting bags of milk back in the fridge with less than a quarter of an inch of milk left. AAARRGGHH!! Hence the title, “Who finished the f***ing milk!”
Who finished the f***ing milk? (Source: Les inhibitions, moteurs de nos réactions. Journal Métro 22 avril, 2008)
Did you ever notice that we act differently at home than we do at work or among friends? At home, how often do you hear someone, with his hand on the open fridge door, turn and yell out, “Who finished the f…ing milk? I doubt if someone would act the same way if the office coffee pot was empty.
The same happens on the road when we honk at people or give them the finger. How would you react if you were to recognize the person in the car next to you just seconds after flipping them the bird? Had you recognized them sooner, most likely you would have politely waved them ahead of you.
The reason for this discrepancy in behaviour is social inhibition. In the presence of others, we tend to dampen our response out of fear of negative judgment. If we are put in a position where we are anonymous, such as in a car or during a riot, or when we are no longer concerned with the impression we give others, such as at home with our families, this lack of inhibition gives some of us license to act like jerks.
Social inhibition is a necessary mechanism that acts as a counter-balance to many of our baser emotions. The irritation or anger we may feel when we find an empty milk container comes out in an exaggerated fashion in the absence of such a mechanism.
There is nothing wrong with expressing frustration. Some people are too concerned with negative judgment. When the inhibitory mechanism is too strong, it prevents them from expressing themselves and addressing real problems.
On the other hand, many of us could use some restraint. A little bit of concern for what others think keeps us civil and helps us control the urge to act on all of our minor frustrations.
Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if we took a lesson from how we acted in social surroundings and brought some of that civility to our roads or into our homes?
Of course, it would be nicer still if the people who did finish the milk, or who cut us off on the road, showed similar courtesy in return. Then we’d really be talkin’.
Tagged as riots, social behaviour, social inhibition.
Posted in Anger and conflict, Human nature.
Posted on 22 Apr 2008
