http://istockphoto.com/DNY59
What do you mean the world will end on December 21st? I’m barely getting started. I was still paying off debt but as soon as I had finished I was planning to get to my bucket list.
OK, let’s calm down and try to think rationally. Let’s see, what did I write down anyway. Hmm…sailing Ha Long bay…that’s out. Damn! Cycling across Canada…ixnay on that one too. How about seeing the Matterhorn, playing golf at Pebble Beach, an Alaskan cruise, or riding (or at least driving) up l’Alpe d’Huez? That would be a negatory on all those as well I’m afraid. There is just no time for a big trip. I have to focus on the quick and simple things I absolutely must do before I die.
Well, at least the beauty of the end of the world is that I don’t have to worry about estate planning and all that kind of stuff, not that I have much of an “estate” to speak of. Since we’re all going at the same time, I can focus more on the person who really matters…ME!
OK, focus, Big Guy, focus. You’ve got five days, is that enough time to convince the hot secretary from down the hall to have sex with you? In your dreams, Big Guy, try again. All right, all right, let me think. I suppose I should try to spend quality time with my wife and kids – Note to self. Do NOT mention the hot secretary to your wife!
This is crazy! I can’t think. Five days! But, but, but, OK breathe…there that’s better.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, what really matters to me and what do I want to be sure to do before I die? The big adventures may be out but there are still plenty of simple things to consider. What really moves me? Do I drive out to the countryside at night, look up to the Milky Way and ponder the beauty of our celestial surroundings? Do I stop and watch my cat cleaning her paws and marvel at nature’s way? Do I sit back and listen to my daughter laugh as she happily Skypes with a friend? How about listening to Keith Jarrett’s Koln Concert or Beethoven’s Ninth or Lucinda Williams singing Satisfied Mind one last time?
Wait, we’re out of milk. I should stop at the depanneur (that’s a convenience store to non-Montreal readers) on the way home. Man, how can I stand the thought of getting groceries when I’m supposed to be focussing on greater existential issues? One thing’s for sure, I’m dining at Momesso’s and Schwartz’s every day. Cholesterol and nitrites be damned! I want sausage and smoked meat (that’s pastrami to non-Montreal readers). And no more bowls of fruits and nuts for breakfast anymore. It’s bacon all the way to Armageddon! Hallelujah!
To put it quite simply, I blew it. I’ve been too busy dealing with obligations that I don’t think I took enough time to stop and smell the roses, so to speak. Well, if it ever turns out that the Mayans were wrong, I am definitely going to slow things down from now on.
I’m also going to start planning for all the glamourous adventures I keep dreaming of but never seem to make time for…
…when I have a little more time and money, of course.
And in case the Mayans were right, I guess I’ll use these last few days taking comfort in what matters most to me; my relationships. I’ll try to see as many friends as possible, I’ll go see my parents one last time, and then I’ll go home to feel the love of my family.
Come here, kids. Let’s have one last group hug. Just be sure to save me the last strip of bacon.
Tagged as apocalypse, armageddon, Mayan calendar, Satisfied Mind.
Posted in Humour.
Posted on 16 Dec 2012
On Dec 17th 2012 at 05:11
Hi Dr. Z. that I really like that way of thinking. That make me realize how to appreciate what we already have instead of being sad about what we are dreaming of. Ones could be soo sad bcause they can realize their dreams before the end of the world, but by taking life the way you explained it, people have to take a step back and valued what really matters for them. Valued what they already have.
I have a question with all that happens around the world I think that the end is already happening. Dont you feel that sometimes Dr? Also what do you thing about the tragedy that happened recently at connecticut? For me the world is already slowly getting to its end…