Introducing Fat-Master Z

I often wonder what I would do in life if I had to start again from scratch. I like being a psychologist but perhaps I wouldn’t mind a little change of pace. I just don’t know what would I do? One of my great passions is music. Unfortunately, I am blessed only with an appreciation of the art form…but none of the ability to produce it. I often tell people that in a musical brave new world, I’d be an epsilon!

(In Aldous Huxley’s novel Brave New World, he writes about a futuristic society that is structured along five levels from alpha to epsilon. The alphas are genetically engineered to be strong and intelligent. They receive an enriched environment and are designed to become leaders of society. At the other end of the spectrum are the epsilons. Their embryos are exposed to smoke and alcohol and an impoverished environment. The results are weak, feeble-minded peons who take satisfaction from their menial work. After all, someone has to do the dirty jobs. Well, thankfully we live in a world where I can succeed despite my inability to tell a Re from a Fa. If that stuff mattered in our society, I would definitely be an epsilon….or they might even have to define a sixth level just for my type…the Zetas!)

So how could I reconcile my tone deafness with my dream of becoming a musical icon? Well, I could be a Rap star. After all, isn’t that art form more about image than singing. And as for image, what can be more iconic than Fat Master Z, my new musical alter ego?

Yeah! Rap star instead of psychologist. I can SO do that! All I need to do is get a posse an bust a few rhymes and…

I could do dat
Cuz I’m da master of phat!

Anyway, this brings me to the idea of adapting to change, the topic of today’s Metro column. It has very little to do with my Rap alter ego but the column is significant because it is where I unleash Fat Master Z on the general public. Up until now I only dragged him out whenever my daughter had friends over – much to the her horror and shame I might add!

The column was inspired by a funny observation that made me think of why some people shun new technology or fear change.

The pilot and the cell phone (Voir plus bas pour la version Française) (Source: Le pilote et le cellulaire. Journal Métro, March 13, 2012)

It was surreal. I was at a park a few years ago watching a little league game while one of the parents gabbed away on his wife’s cell phone. When he finished he looked at the phone and said, “How do you turn this off? I can never figure these things out.” What did this man do for a living? He was a test pilot. Not just a regular old pilot dealing with the complexities of wind, fog, angle of descent and stuff like that, but a TEST PILOT. Yet somehow a cell phone is way too complicated for this guy. Go figure!

Clearly brainpower isn’t what’s stopping this guy or most of us from learning new things. To learn we need three more ingredients: interest, openness and confidence.

Interest
First we have to want to learn something new. When people ask me if I’m on Twitter I say, “Sometimes when I have a cold, and one nostril is blocked, my other one whistles, but no I don’t Tweet.” I suppose if I become the famous rapper, Fat-Master Z, I might find an interest in learning to use Twitter. For now, “It’s too complicated for me.”

Openness
Related to motivation is an open-minded attitude toward new learning. Many of us simply refuse to consider alternative ways of doing things. When we were making the transition from mass mailings to e-mail notices in my department, many people refused to get an e-mail account. Yet no one who set up an account ever looked back. Sometimes we just have to give something a try.

Confidence
Many people will not learn to drive a car with manual transmission and others never learn to cook. Is this because they can’t? Of course not. In terms of relative difficulty, they do plenty of things more complicated.

When my mother was younger, she could cook a five-course meal for twenty people. She moved like an octopus on speed and fed everyone at the same time. Nothing was burnt or over-salted. In this Sunday symphony, she conducted and played every instrument. Yet ask her to balance a checkbook and she becomes a two-year old.

The only real obstacle here is lack of confidence, not lack of ability. If we look back at the complicated things we learned in the past, we won’t fear new and relatively easy challenges, regardless of whether they are cell phones or hot cars with manual transmission…or even Twitter.

Voici la version Française:

Le pilote et le cellulaire

Il y a quelques années, j’étais dans un parc à regarder un match de jeunes joueurs de baseball, lorsqu’un des pères s’est servi du cellulaire de sa femme. Une fois qu’il a eu terminé, il a dit : « Comment ça se ferme? Je ne comprends jamais ces choses-là. » Que faisait cet homme dans la vie? Il était pilote d’essai. Pas juste un bon vieux pilote qui doit composer avec les complexités du vent, du brouillard et de l’angle de descente, mais un PILOTE D’ESSAI. Et un cellulaire était trop compliqué pour lui. C’était surréaliste!

De toute évidence, l’intelligence n’est pas ce qui empêche d’apprendre. Pour apprendre, il faut trois autres ingrédients : intérêt, ouverture d’esprit et confiance.

Intérêt
Il faut d’abord vouloir apprendre. Quand on me demande si je suis sur Twitter, je réponds : « Quand j’ai le rhume et une narine bloquée, l’autre siffle, mais je ne gazouille pas. » Je suppose que si je devenais un célèbre rappeur du nom de « Fat-Master Z », je pourrais être intéressé à apprendre à « twitter ». Mais, pour le moment, « c’est trop compliqué pour moi ».

Ouverture d’esprit
L’ouverture d’esprit face à l’apprentissage est liée à la motivation. Plusieurs d’entre nous refusent simplement d’essayer de nouvelles façons de faire. Dans mon service, lorsque nous avons fait la transition des envois postaux aux envois électroniques, plusieurs ont refusé d’ouvrir un compte de courriel. Et pourtant, ceux qui l’ont fait, ne l’ont jamais regretté. Il suffit parfois de faire un essai.

Confiance
Bien des gens n’apprendront jamais à conduire une voiture à transmission manuelle, et d’autres n’apprendront jamais à cuisiner. Est-ce parce qu’ils en sont incapables? Bien sûr que non. En termes de difficulté relative, ils font des choses bien plus compliquées.

Lorsque ma mère était plus jeune, elle pouvait cuisiner un repas de cinq services pour vingt personnes. Comme si elle avait huit bras, elle réussissait à nourrir tout le monde en même temps. Rien n’était brûlé ou trop salé. Dans cette symphonie dominicale, elle jouait de tous les instruments. Mais demandez-lui d’établir son solde bancaire, et elle redevient une enfant.

Le seul véritable obstacle est le manque de confiance, et non le manque d’aptitudes. Si nous repensons aux choses compliquées que nous avons apprises dans le passé, nous ne craindrons plus les nouveaux défis relativement faciles à relever, qu’il s’agisse de téléphones cellulaires, de voitures à transmission manuelle… ou de Twitter.

Tagged as Adapting to change, Fat-Master Z, Self-confidence.

Posted in Human nature, Humour.

Posted on 13 Mar 2012