Secret shame

Yesterday I took part in a walk for mental illness. It was good to see a decent (but not great) turnout of about one or two thousand people by my estimate. Although a good number of media outlets were there, I saw no coverage of it on the news I watched. Three other walks and the Occupy Wall Street protest seemed to garner the lion’s share of coverage. I guess this is the reality of something as decidedly unglamorous as mental illness.

Schizophrenia, which is a relatively rare mental illness, affects 60 times more people than Muscular Dystrophy, five times as many as Multiple Sclerosis, and twice as many as Alzheimer’s. We walk, cycle and have telethons to raise money and awareness for those illnesses but don’t do much for an illness that affects more families than all of those others combined.

There are many reasons for this. A person with cancer can make us feel a strong sense of empathy. One with Schizophrenia may not. Schizophrenia robs us of our ability to connect to others. If a person has paranoia, he or she will stay away from you or may even accuse you. Rather than elicit empathy, we may feel fear. This is why the illness scares so many people. We tend to stay away from and marginalize people we fear or don’t understand.

For this reason, we stigmatize those with serious mental illness. The only way to counter stigma is to be open about our own struggles or those of our family members. The more we talk about it, and the more we communicate with people who are suffering from mental illness, the less will be the burden of stigma.

Here is something I published in my column of October 4, 2011:

Secret shame (voir plus bas pour la version Française)

(Source: Une honte secrète. Journal Métro, October 4, 2011)

My very first experience with hospitals was when my father underwent hemorrhoid surgery. Since it was the first time any member of my family was hospitalized I was quite worried. Unfortunately I couldn’t talk to anyone about it. A ten year old does not want his friends to know his father’s anus is being operated on!

Shame of our bodies and minds

I sit on a committee whose mandate is to reduce stigma related to mental illness. During a break some members lamented the fact that mental illness carries more stigma than physical illness. While this may be generally true, I think the type of illness one suffers from carries far more of the burden than the fact of simply having an illness.

I asked people if they would feel comfortable discussing their arthritis. I doubt if anyone would. But what if you suffered from impotence or had a colostomy bag? Some conditions are simply not discussed as openly as others. How fair is that? Should we not benefit from understanding and support regardless of the type of disease? Why should we be embarrassed over something beyond our control? My father didn’t ask for hemorrhoids any more than I asked to have manboobs or psoriasis. That’s just the luck of the draw.

The same can be said about mental illnesses. They are not all treated the same. We are far more likely to share that our child is suffering from attention deficit than schizophrenia. Unfortunately almost all mental illnesses fall into the category of things people would rather hide.

Two sources of stigma

So why do we feel so bad about some illnesses? One important source is other people. Some illnesses are truly seen in a negative light. The best way to counter this is to talk about them. The more we discuss something in a non-judgemental fashion, the more accepted it becomes. Homosexuality is seen very differently today than 50 years ago for this very reason.

The second major source of shame and stigma comes from us. I was amazed to hear my former director once discuss his hemorrhoids openly. How could he be so comfortable while I still have a weird feeling about it? Stigma cannot always be blamed on other people. We are in control of how we feel about ourselves. The more embarrassed we are, the less we talk about it. Our own shame thus contributes to stigma. But if shame begets shame then surely openness begets openness.

Voici la version Française de la chronique publiée dans le Journal Métro du 4 octobre 2011.

Une honte secrète

Mon premier contact avec les hôpitaux a eu lieu lorsque mon père a subi une hémorroïdectomie. C’était la première fois qu’un membre de ma famille était hospitalisé, et j’étais assez inquiet. Malheureusement, je ne pouvais en parler à personne : un garçon de dix ans ne veut pas que ses amis sachent que son père se fait opérer à l’anus!

La honte de nos corps et de nos esprits

Je siège à des comités dont le mandat est de diminuer la stigmatisation liée à la maladie mentale. Certains membres ont déploré le fait que davantage de préjugés sont associés à la maladie mentale qu’à la maladie physique. Je crois que le type de maladie dont souffre une personne porte une plus grande part du fardeau que le simple fait d’être atteint d’une maladie.

J’ai demandé à des gens s’ils seraient à l’aise de discuter de leur arthrite. Mais qu’en serait-il de l’impuissance ou d’une colostomie? Certaines maladies ne sont tout simplement pas abordées aussi ouvertement que d’autres. Est-ce juste? Ne devrions-nous pas bénéficier de soutien et de compréhension, peu importe le type de maladie? Mon père n’a pas demandé à avoir les hémorroïdes. Le sort en a décidé ainsi.

On peut en dire autant des maladies mentales. Il est beaucoup plus probable que nous dévoilions que notre enfant souffre d’un déficit de l’attention que de schizophrénie. Malheureusement, presque toutes les maladies mentales s’inscrivent dans la catégorie de ce que les gens préfèrent dissimuler.

Deux sources de stigmatisation

Alors, pourquoi sommes-nous aussi mal à l’aise face à certaines maladies? L’une des sources importantes de malaise, ce sont les autres. Certaines maladies sont considérées sous un éclairage négatif. Pour y remédier, le mieux est d’en parler. Plus nous parlons d’une chose sans porter de jugement, plus elle est acceptée. C’est pourquoi l’homosexualité n’est plus considérée aujourd’hui comme elle l’était il y a 50 ans.

La deuxième grande source de honte et de stigmatisation, c’est nous-mêmes. Un jour, j’ai été ébahi d’entendre mon ancien directeur parler ouvertement de ses hémorroïdes. Comment pouvait-il être aussi à l’aise, alors que j’aurais été embarrassé d’en parler? On ne peut pas toujours tenir les autres pour responsables des préjugés. Nous sommes maître de ce que nous ressentons face à nous-mêmes. Plus nous sommes embarrassés, moins nous en parlons. Notre propre honte alimente alors la stigmatisation. Mais si la honte engendre la honte, l’ouverture d’esprit engendre sans aucun doute l’ouverture d’esprit.


Tagged as , , .

Posted in Mental health.

Posted on 17 Oct 2011

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

32

5 comments to Secret shame

  1. Lyne Deschênes
    On Oct 17th 2011 at 20:59
    Reply

    chapeau Dr C! nous avons besoin d’un grand nombre de Dr. C dans notre société! merci pour votre excellent boulot! :)

  2. Joe Rochford
    On Oct 18th 2011 at 12:41
    Reply

    Great post, Cam.

    P.S. Never apologize for your manboobs. They’re real AND spectacular!

  3. Miss Elayn
    On Oct 18th 2011 at 19:02
    Reply

    C’est vrai. Je trouve que la maladie mentale est très stigmatisée. C’est une honte secrète. J’ai un trouble délirant, une maladie psychotique qui ressemble à la schizophrénie. Toutefois, j’ai réussi à faire mon baccalauréat en travail social et je fais présentement un certificat en santé mentale à l’Université de Montréal. Je travaille en foyer de groupe pour personnes ayant des problèmes de santé mentale dont la schizophrénie. Jamais je ne pourrai partager avec les autres intervenants que j’ai moi-même un problème de santé mentale. Je ne crois pas que cela sera accepté qu’une intervenante ait elle-même des problèmes psychotiques. Parfois, cela me blesse de devoir garder un tel secret.

  4. Maureen Shields
    On Nov 3rd 2011 at 00:19
    Reply

    After reading this column I realized something. I have been very open regarding my Mother’s schrizophenia with others, and have found many opportunities in conversations with others to mention her illness and how it affected her; the result has always been, for the most part, a compassionate response to me that assumes I have suffered over the years having to deal with my Mother’s illness. I have yet to hear anyone other than a professional allude to how SHE must have suffered over the years. This kind of thinking seems to elude the general population. How can they not understand that the mentally ill person realizes he/she is being ignored, turned away from, and is feared. How can the general population not understand that this only makes it worse for the person already suffering? An detailed campaign on the different types of mental illness, the effects on an individual and their families, and information for the general population on how to react to and help these individuals needs to be started somewhere, somehow by someone. Whether this is done on T.V., or in newspapers, it needs to be done in a way that is visible to all and has to be done on a continuing basis.

  5. Turner Rosenblum
    On Dec 14th 2011 at 07:26
    Reply

    I think some of these mental illness are still not openly accepted to be talked about in public. But I hope more people will take part and help persons and families with this condition