The evolution of personality

Not too long ago, I was interviewed by a number of media outlets on the subject of the trapped Chilean miners – What were they going through while trapped? What will they go through after their rescue? Were there risks of violence associated with trapping so many men together for so long? How will their families react?

As a general rule, most questions only have one of two answers. When there is research on a phenomenon at hand, an informed opinion can be given. When the circumstances have never been studied in depth, all we have are educated guesses. When media outlets call on the shrinks, they tend to present them as experts. In actual fact, we were all working without a net on this one. There wasn’t any relevant research on which to base an informed opinion.

The mining accident did bring up an important issue about personality: While personality traits are quite stable throughout a person’s lifetime, novel circumstances will reveal previously unseen aspects of that personality. In other words, personality traits will interact with circumstances. When circumstances are unique, as they were for the Chilean miners and their families, it becomes difficult to predict how each individual will react.

My Column of October 26th explored this issue. It is a theme that was also the topic of a similar column published in 2007. I have posted it after the more recent column.

The evolution of personality

(Source: L’évolution de la personnalité. Journal Métro, October 26, 2010)

Our fellow human beings are a funny lot, aren’t they? Just when you think you know someone they turn around and surprise you.

Stable traits, unstable circumstances

Occasionally, a person we know well, or at least thought we knew, seems to change quite radically from time to time. How could this happen when our personalities are supposed to remain quite stable throughout our lives?

In fact, our personalities are indeed very stable. It is circumstances to which personality traits are exposed that are constantly changing. It is impossible to separate the person from the circumstances being lived. This ever-changing world is what gives personality traits their appearance of instability.

Challenging circumstances in a Chilean mine

Many people wondered what it must have been like for the 33 Chilean miners to be trapped below the earth for over two months, or worse still, what it was like during the 17 days before they were discovered. I honestly don’t think any of us could answer that question. The experience is unique to each individual. More importantly, it is impossible to know how we would have reacted in similar circumstances. Any unique experience such as theirs interacts with our individual personalities to reveal aspects of our characters previously unknown to us.

If we were to experience a food shortage, for example, who among us would share with others and who would steal to stay alive? How would we react to hoards of journalists and invasions of our privacy? How would we deal with a return to normal life after a brief taste of celebrity?

Challenging circumstances in a lifetime

The impact of unique life experiences on our personalities has broader implications. Life itself is an ever-changing set of circumstances. The evolution of our lives will also create an evolution in our personalities.

A hardheaded individual, who might have been considered a problem child in school, may turn into a good business leader where a headstrong determination and independence is more likely to bring success. Adolescents drafted and thrown into war zones grow up fast when facing life and death issues on a daily basis. An adult’s values can change radically with the arrival of a baby.

As our life circumstances evolve and challenge us in new and unique ways, what we see in our personalities will evolve along with them. The evolution of our personalities throughout our lives will certainly take us along very surprising twists and turns along the road of discovery – whether we are discovering ourselves or the people around us.

Here is the earlier column from February 20, 2007:

So you think you know someone, do you?

How well do you know someone? Have you ever thought, “Wow, I never would have expected that from him?”

Take a moment to think of the person in your life that you respect the most. Now imagine that same person aboard the Titanic, as it is about to sink. There is one place left on the last lifeboat and a ten-year old boy is about to take it. Then you watch as the person that you respect the most in the world grabs this boy by the collar and pulls him away from the lifeboat. He then jumps into the last spot. Would you still respect this person?

I realize that this is a pretty unlikely scenario but it illustrates an important point about our personalities. Personality is complex and multi-faceted. It is defined not only by our intrinsic traits but also by the interaction of these traits with the situations in which we find ourselves. Each situational context is a unique one that can often reveal dimensions of a personality that were previously unseen.

We can never be certain how a person will react unless we observe them in each context directly. It is true that we can make some reasonable generalizations. Generous people tend to give much of themselves, and honest people tend to tell the truth. But we can never dismiss the situation, especially when it presents a unique challenge, such as a life and death decision aboard a sinking ship.

Who will be there for you and support you when you’re down and who will criticize you? Who will spit in your face if you want to leave them and who will accept it with grace and maturity? Who will try to accommodate you in a conflict and who will try to impose their choice on you? Who may surprise you by fleeing the scene of an accident? Until you see someone in these situations you can never tell with certainty what their response will be.

That’s why first impressions should not overly guide you. There is little advantage in judging someone quickly based on your initial intuition. Don’t be in a rush to make a long-term commitment to someone despite what your hormones are telling you. Give someone time to reveal their true character across many situations. Once that occurs, you will be rarely in for any nasty surprises.


Tagged as , , .

Posted in Human nature, Life, Stress.

Posted on 22 Nov 2010

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